The shadow side, the darkness we all hold within us, doesn’t disappear just because we become clear. It doesn’t fade out in the immeasurable sunshine of having dealt with our “shit.” It lives on, and some days it takes over. Some days it doesn’t even break up long enough for you to eat or smile or get dressed.
And I’m here to tell you that this is okay. We are not here to uphold irrational expectations of joy. We find joy and celebration in the darkness, as in the light. We celebrate creativity and diversity, trial and error, loss and heartbreak.
We embrace the dark as we embrace the light. This is the prospect of unconditional love. In our relationships we cherish our friends, family, lovers and children completely. We know they have fault lines and earthquakes. We are not here to point that out, demand fixes, or change it. We are not here to reinforce their foundations with corrections or by conducting repairs. Our only maintenance in human-to-human connection is through our ability to be unconditionally non-judgmental. Some call this love.
So why would you expect to lose your own shaky walls and creaky boards with some idea of “enlightenment?” There is nothing shameful in our darkness. Clarity only brings these things, light and dark, into focus. Our striving is not for perfection but for peace. We release the hold on an ideal; we release the control over outcomes. If we strive for peace then the landscape of light and dark becomes free from the constant inner dialogue of self-deprecation.
We become creative beings that operate whether the sun is out or the night’s blanketing sky is upon us. What we create in either place is equally precious when we are committed to being at peace. Nothing more and nothing less.
The fluidity with which night becomes day and becomes night again is a masterpiece. It is not abrupt or violent. There is no struggle. From it we learn to walk through the peaks and valleys of our life, to move about our human existence, holding our integrity in tact regardless of whether or not we can see. This integrity is our proverbial North Star.
And at the end of the journey we get to look back and see that the dualities we perceived were not real. We understand it is all the same, it is all one whole fluid experience that embraces us by formulating the ground beneath our feet with every step we take forward in ANY direction. We see we are always supported. And then we turn back to our path and keep going, understanding in that moment that we haven’t reached the end, but the beginning.
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